For Blog’s sake!

***Trigger Warning***

Mentions of sexual assault and domestic violence and abuse.

I have been writing another poetry book. Kind of by accident. I started writing a few, then all of a sudden I had like fifteen of the buggers. I’ve put two of them on here. Both very triggering, both about very big issues in society.

Domestic violence and sexual assault. Relationship violence of any kind, which most definitely includes emotionally and mentally, is something I’ve been through and I have seen many other women have experienced. Although, I have not been physically beaten in a relationship, I have experienced relationship manipulation, sexual exploitation and abuse. I have been raped. No longer will I be silent on these issues!

So, my next book is going to be fire! It’s a process I am going through, and as I explore my own feelings on this topic, I become more and more aware of how much I have been holding onto all these years.

See I never reported any of the incidents. Mainly because I didn’t realize what was happening. And partially because I was ashamed for being this “weak” and letting myself get into these situations. Victim blaming, is where a victim can get locked inside of themselves, with guilt and lack of understanding. I didn’t realize I could stop them doing this to someone else. I just needed to be out of it myself.

I coped through taking drugs and drinking. I became a destructive person. Now I am a different person, and I realise my experiences should’ve have reported and I should’ve taken action. That’s why this new book is the action I can take now. To help other people who have been through relationship violence and abuse. This book is not just poetry, it has bits where I just put across my opinion, in between the poetry, with statements of my feelings and ways I’ve coped using my writing.

The new book will be called ‘Beautiful and Full of Disgrace’. I shall write more and more about this book, in the time it takes me to publish this one too. I know I haven’t got many sales on my first book. I think this stage of healing may be more beneficial to people who have been through these issues. But seriously who knows. XxX